i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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