so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
