well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
