i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
