His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He kissed a someone with a penis
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You've changed since you got that strap on
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
