My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
