He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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