i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
