So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
