new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
