Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
