so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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