is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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