my mouth tastes like poor choices
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My pussy is not your playground.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just googled if crying burns calories
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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