somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
