I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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