is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I lost the right to judge tonight
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
