Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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