Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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