My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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