You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Randomize
