Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
