i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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