Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
