You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize