I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
