Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
