You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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