arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I could fuck to npr.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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