You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
