go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize