I want to make a zoo with you.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
