apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
you had me at cake vodka
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize