that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
