I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
