You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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