ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He called his prostate his "boner button".
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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