Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
