so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize