drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
this hospital has no fireball
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?