The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.