are you so shy because you have an std?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
