Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
