His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize