I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
