we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
