She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
