I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
