yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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