I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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