The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
