i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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