shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake