There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..