The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
