I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
