You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
