white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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