i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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