It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
