Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
