My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
