Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
