There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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