ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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