The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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