real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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