i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize