wakey wakey hands off snakey
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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